Give it a solid 4.5

by Scott Volltrauer

July 22, 2012

@scottvolltrauer

In 1990 Jungian psychologist Robert Moore and co-author Douglas Gillette wrote King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine.

Moore and Gillette referred to four blueprints, in Stu Weber's Tender Warrior: Every Man's Purpose, Every Woman's Dream, Every Child's Hope he calls them fingerprints.

All the authors argue that in order to become a complete man, a man must be intentional in his efforts to develop in all four areas of his life.

Weber's blueprints are:

• King
• Warrior
• Mentor
• Friend

Like Moore and Gillette, Weber believes that men of all ages struggle with similar circumstances faced by other men who are husbands and fathers, married and single men of all ages and backgrounds.

To illustrate and explain these pillars, Weber uses a variety of examples from his personal experience in life, in relationships, in the ministry, and in the military especially from his days serving in Vietnam.

Here-in lay one of the weaknesses of the book. This fresh new copy of Tender Warrior: Every Man's Purpose, Every Woman's Dream, Every Child's Hope is a reprint of material originally published in 1993 and 1999. Thus most of the illustrations and the referenced materials are twenty years old.

While true and accurate, some of the twenty year old illustrations do have a dated feel to them. That may not bother fifty year olds, but younger men seeking to become a Tender Warrior may have a harder time seeing the relevance of the illustrations.

That said, each chapter has some meaningful information and most importantly, it's followed by a relevant discussion guide useful for personal, mentorship or small group use.

Weber covers these eleven areas of manhood: A Man Faces Himself A Man and His Pro-Vision A Man and His Roots A Man's Greatest Strength A Man's Tender Side A Man and His Leadership A Man and His Lady, Parts 1, 2 & 3 A Man and His Children, Parts 1, 2 & 3 A Man and His Friends, Parts 1 & 2 A Man and His Course, Parts 1 & 2 A Man and His Lord

I found Weber's challenge to be a Finisher to be most relevant to me as a man in my forties. Finishers need vision - A focused pursuit. Finishers need single-mindedness - An undivided heart. Finishers need determination - A driving intensity. Finishers need faith - A biblical optimism.

In conclusion, Tender Warrior is a book I will use as I guide my son and the young men I mentor. I recommend this book to fathers and sons, and small groups of men, young and not so young. It would also provide a useful starting point for a men's accountability group.